This is the best description I have ever read of what my ASD level 1 feels like on the inside. Thank you. The relief I felt when reading was so visceral. All my cells felt seen, maybe for the first time. 🙏🏽
I think this article is what finally tipped me over the edge realizing I'm definitely on the spectrum, your thought stream in social situations is exactly my experience.
And side note for those who know about the enneagram and the 'instinct' subtypes sx/so/sp, this article also started to highlight for me the differences between the tism and the struggles associated with having the social subtype in last position (social-blind); I had wondered for a while if there was a lot of overlap and that so-blinds were more likely to be autistic straight up, but there are social-dominants who experience these same things, yet are still highly socially focused in their lives.
To be diagnosed as high-functioning autistic at the age of 42 solved a lot of unsolvable things for me, but also brought about anger and pain, too. I thought I would be relieved, but I am still learning my quirks, tics, and nervous fidgeting had a home; I just never knew where we all belonged. Me... with my constantly overthinking/overanalyzing/cautiously approaching ways and my far too affectionate, but with boundaries on touch, self. You never know what you're going to get with me, and honestly... I never know either. Three years later, I am still learning about who I am and why I am who I am.
"You get frantic, trying to catch what’s slipping. You reach for the social fabric—its norms, its cues, the Next Right Thing—but it unravels between your fingers like something spun from mist."
Thank u for this. 44 and still undiagnosed but finally there is a mirror
I’m so so glad that we are able to relate, it makes me feel less alone too
This is the best description I have ever read of what my ASD level 1 feels like on the inside. Thank you. The relief I felt when reading was so visceral. All my cells felt seen, maybe for the first time. 🙏🏽
I think this article is what finally tipped me over the edge realizing I'm definitely on the spectrum, your thought stream in social situations is exactly my experience.
And side note for those who know about the enneagram and the 'instinct' subtypes sx/so/sp, this article also started to highlight for me the differences between the tism and the struggles associated with having the social subtype in last position (social-blind); I had wondered for a while if there was a lot of overlap and that so-blinds were more likely to be autistic straight up, but there are social-dominants who experience these same things, yet are still highly socially focused in their lives.
I needed this, thank you
To be diagnosed as high-functioning autistic at the age of 42 solved a lot of unsolvable things for me, but also brought about anger and pain, too. I thought I would be relieved, but I am still learning my quirks, tics, and nervous fidgeting had a home; I just never knew where we all belonged. Me... with my constantly overthinking/overanalyzing/cautiously approaching ways and my far too affectionate, but with boundaries on touch, self. You never know what you're going to get with me, and honestly... I never know either. Three years later, I am still learning about who I am and why I am who I am.
"You get frantic, trying to catch what’s slipping. You reach for the social fabric—its norms, its cues, the Next Right Thing—but it unravels between your fingers like something spun from mist."
Thank you for sharing.