Decentering Men Part 1: A Video Mapping Exercise

With some facilitation and encouragement on top

I remember when I first began mapping. It was one of the array of magical ideas that I’d soon come to recognize as the outcomes from most of my “last ditch efforts.” Funnily enough, when I feel like I’ve tried everything, to no avail, I get really, REALLY creative.

I pulled this from a journal entry, almost seven years old. I felt the page, and the hard indentations of the pen, and felt the distance between me and that version of myself. I also felt so near, with more clarity to the depth of experience I was beginning to name and feel into then. In this video, I have a very privileged role. I get to offer a process outline I didn’t have, hope, and a perspective I could only have dreamed of, as I look back on the process that brought me here.

I remember how silly and tired and resentful I felt when I did this for the first time. How I wished I could even glimpse something that even roughly resembled proof of concept before I put pen and highlighter to page. Life’s funny like that sometimes.

I hope this helps you, wherever you are, and wherever this finds you.

In transparency, I worked to present the concept map as neutrally as possible, for folks who are at different places in their process. Some people may be trying to obtain some semblance of balance with romantic dynamics, especially those with men. Other may be arriving at a place a total divestment.

I’ve also withheld more of my personal takes here because examining existing belief systems is vulnerable work. I don’t want to track my mud into your though process, nor do I want to act is if my way is The Way.

Ask me anything, anything, anything, if questions arise.

And of course, tell me how it goes, what comes up for you, and share any learnings :)

I’m glad you’re here.

Jamila

PS It’s my first longer form video, so if it’s weird sound wise or whatever, give me grace (and feedback!).